With No More Words

Today was the last day, though, it seemed like my last day was a few weeks ago because of all these IB exams. But, still, it was weird. I walked around with no place to be, sauntering into different classrooms to get things all squared away for my departure. Coach Morey was especially sentimental today which didn't really help this feeling. I grabbed my honors cords, picked up my year book, dropped off my texts books, stopped to talk to a few people and then I left. Officially an Oakland Alum. This feeling here? this is one i've been avoiding. the walk away. the last step. the beginning of the end. I'm not so sure I was prepared for this feeling here. or for what's about to come. In a few months, I'll pack up and head to Knoxville which seems scarier as the day approaches. I thought I was ready, and in a way I think I am. but i always acted like I wouldn't miss this school, and these people. truth be told, i lied to myself. It's been my safe haven for four years now. I couldn't wait to be in high school. that's all i wanted, was to be in high school. and now i must say goodbye. the cliche it flies by has never been more true than in this moment right here. I will everything about my life here. My home, my family, my youth group, my friends, and boy will i miss my teachers. somewhere down the line, my teachers became way more than the enemy or "the man". they became counselors, cheerleaders, and friends. It's hard to imagine not having them around. On days when everything was to much I always went to Tucker's room to cry or when I was mad I would stomp into Chastain's office to vent. or when I was just looking for a smile I knew to step into the guidance office to chat with Mrs.Davis. It's the teachers that I'll have the hardest time saying goodbye to. My friends? well I'll see my friends on break. I'll write letters to them. I'll skype them. our time together is not over. this is just a see you later kind of deal. but its a final bow for me and the teachers. and somehow, i do not know how, I must express to them how much I will truly miss their presence. Somehow, I must find a way to say goodbye.

Overall, today has just been a sad day full of "lasts". I parked in my spot one last time. and I roamed the halls as I have done for four years now. but this time it was a much much different feeling. A piece of me has been left behind today. The shedding of the old, and the walking into the new. So I hope that from today, I can look into the future and see the joy that awaits. Today, I walked out feeling like I had so much left to say, so much left to do. but in some strange way, I knew that Oakland no longer had anything left to say to me. and that was the most bittersweet feeling of all.