Pursuer

There was a difference in the water from the last time we kayaked. We were more swift, vigilant, fast.  We coasted along, stopping every once in a while to spin around or catch a wave. I watched intently as the front of the kayak cut the water. With each stretch, the water chose a side and moved in the wake of the boat. From my perspective, the kayak was in pursuit. "In pursuit of what?" I asked. I had know idea where we were paddling to, or for how long, but I kept paddling. every so often, we would come up on a bridge or a turn and we moved in accordance. We finally reached a green buoy and headed home. my mind began to race as I thought of what all of this could mean.

All my life, (or a good portion of it) I have been in school and I think I'm gonna be in school for a while. I have somewhat known what I wanted to do with myself. and for a while now, I've known exactly who I am. I have a lot of adjectives to describe myself, in fact, but I'll save you the time. you see, I know who I am and where I'm going. but that doesnt mean that some days I dont question every step I take, every decision I make. and I look around at my peers and I wonder what their stories are. I wonder if they question their dreams. I wonder if they know who they are or if they're living vicariously through their friends. I wonder what they live for. and some of my peers, I know what they live for. "I have seen the true face of the things they call life" as my favorite band says. I cry out to God because I don't want to end up like that. Lifeless, passionless, directionless. So I make a plan and I try to live into it. sometimes I feel the pull of the earthly. sometimes I slip up and I find myself pursuing things I shouldnt. things that the world actually says are good: like straight A's and lots of money and lot's of friends! but friends, Im here to tell you those things will eat. you. alive. There's really only one thing I'm quite sure of these days... and that is above all else, I want to be a pursuer of Jesus. all out, no holds back, reckless abandonment. why? because HE first pursued me. I want to pursue him more than I want to be a doctor. I want to pursue more than I want friends. because the truth of the matter is I need him far more than I need good grades, lots of money, or lots of friends. I can't imagine a life not pursuing him, or better yet, I am afraid to live that kind of life. because I have seen what earthly pursuits does to you, does to your spirit. and I dont want any part of it.

And so I'm back to my kayak metaphor. The kayak was in pursuit of something. It cut the waves right and left. I want to be like that kayak. I want to be swift and vigilant in my pursuit of Jesus. I want to cut waves. but the only way I can do that is if I am in complete obedience with the person paddling. He moves his oar side to side. and I glide through the water with ease. every so often we come up on a bridge or a turn, but it's okay because the paddler has control and guides me around gently. and one day, I will reach the green buoy and he will guide me home. So Be It.

So here's to kayaking, to passion, and to reckless pursuit. May you pursue Him as much as He pursues you.