Waiting At The Top

    {Summer and I with our Beloved and Loved tattoos}

The words on my arm have never meant more to me than they did this past week. Maybe - just maybe - God knew that some 6th graders would need to hear those words and the only way they would understand it fully is when their camp counselor had it inked on her arm. For some, I may have explained why I have it and for some it seems as simple as letters and a dictionary definition. and I think that even the simplicity of the word is a beautiful metaphor for who I am. I seem simple and clearly defined from the outside, like I have it all together (or so I've been told). but In fact, I have a hidden depth that was made by my creator for all sorts of beautiful things. and I'd be willing to bet that you do too. In the same way, the word beloved has so much more behind it than it may seem.

"That night we talked about how the word beloved could be used as a statement of fact, as in 'You are beloved (I AM loved) right now whether you feel it or think you deserve it. Right now, because of what God has done through Christ, you are beloved.'"

From the moment I read those words in Haiti last summer, I knew beloved was meant to be written on my arm. Over and over again, I run my fingers across the raised edges and breathe in deeply to remember who I am.

       {Gretchin in her Nehemiah Wall}

I did it again when I was standing in front of 17 little girls at the x-team on Thursday while giving a pep talk about engaging with God in this unique environment. and I felt His arms wrap around me in that moment when these words fell out of my mouth: God is waiting for you at the top. He's got so much to teach you about His heart if you'll just go there with Him. Do you want to know him more? because man, He is dying to know you. He is dying to love you. My heart was burning for these girls to know how loved they were. and I was willing to sit with them for a while if it meant they would understand how loved they were by God. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, this is how God feels about us. He's waiting to sit with us every day and tell us we are brave and we are loved so that we finally get it. He wants so desperately for us to get it, to say that we will climb to the top of a twenty-foot pole if it means that we get to learn more about His heart.

      {One of the sweet boys worshipping Jesus}

    {My manly men}

but something else I learned this week, is we have to be willing to lean into Him. I learned that lesson on Monday when canoeing with my boys. We had an impossible task that was only going to be possible if we leaned in and were completely spent for the long haul. I think it's the same with God. He wants us to understand how loved we are AND He wants us to lean into that whether or not we feel it or think we deserve it. It's not about deserving it, it's about embracing what has already been given to us through Christ.

I could go on and on about the different things God showed me this week and maybe one day we can sit down and I can tell you about them. but by the end of the week, I was sad that my time with those special souls had come to an end, but I am excited for the next group of kids to come in so I can do it all over again. I get to teach these lessons and learn new things with every group that comes in and that is a blessing all in itself. I loved on those kids with every ounce of my being and in return they stomped their muddy feet and smiles all over my heart. For every hug, every conquered fear, every challenging moment, and every realization of the Lord and His beautiful works, I am thankful. 

and I know that I AM loved. 

He loved those kids, He loves me, and He loves you. 

He is waiting for you to climb to the top. 

He's got so much to show you. 

Do you want to know Him? because man, 

He is dying to meet you.

-EM

      {waving goodbye}

Quotation by: Louie Giglio in his book I am not, but I know I Am (pg 161)
Photos by: Katie Keegan & Emily Heyduck