The Best Adventure Yet

"When the stars are the only thing we share, will you be there?"

This time last year I began to plan my trip to South Africa for the summer of 2014. I told everyone this was my last year at camp. I contacted Cheryl. I set aside money. And I prayed ridiculously. I made plans. As I continued to pray throughout the school year, my heart started to feel the tug of what God's answer was soon to be: not yet. It's not the time to save that money. It's not the time to plan a trip to South Africa. It's not time to leave. "But why," my heart cried out. I have been aching to go back since I stepped back on the plane at 2:30 am in the Jburg airport.

In December, I found myself in a confusing place. Should I defy God's wishes and go despite everything He has shown me, or should I find something else to do for the months away from school? Camp wasn't a possibility because of the summer I had had before. Washed with shame and guilt, I had told myself I wasn't going to return. But I think God knew better than to look at the shameful things I had done. 

And then as the old saying goes, life happened. Life became much more complicated than I had intended for it to be. So summer plans weren't really in my head as much as escape plans. But a night with my old bosses seemed to change all of my plans or rather God was changing my heart from the moment He said not yet. 

7 months later and I'm almost at the end of my 3rd summer as a counselor at New Frontiers. More than that, I have grown to love hard days and staff worship and let people see the unmasked Emily even when I desperately try and hide it. There are days when I still call home crying or ask God over and over again to change me. But in the quiet of the day God says, "daughter, look how far you've come. Well done" I brush my fingers across the letters on my arm beloved and I whisper a very full thanks to God for changing my plans, for breaking my pride, for walking with me through the fire. Because when a little girl woke up crying in the cave because she was scared of the dark I was able to tell her with confidence that God would be with her as she slept and that every thing would be better than okay despite the plans she previously had. 

Last night Gracie and I did dishes together for the first time in I don't know how long. We talked of future plans, old plans, and how to be content with both. I can say now that after 7 months of living in a changed plan, I am more than content. And I believe that even on the days when it's hard to trust what God is doing, I must simply surrender my plans to Him and let him do with them what He will. 

You never know, you might wind up on a farm in South Africa, or maybe you'll be living a life full of gratitude when you tell people this is your 3rd summer of camp. And when they ask if you'll be back, you shrug your shoulders, stop making plans, and smile with a deep content that whatever the adventure God leads you to next will surely be the best one yet.