Thursday, October 9, 2014

Gently


When you get there you'll know 
that's as far as you go
When you get there you'll see
you were already free
just remember, you're coming home to me



I spend a lot of time with kids. and you probably think I'm over exaggerating but I have watched 4 sets of children in the past 5 days. All between the ages of 9 years old and 9 months old. So my time is pretty much consumed by these little tiny humans, and I wouldn't have it any other way. These kids, all of them bright and funny in their own little ways, teach me so much and give me a perspective on things that adults just can't.

This past week, I learned a good lesson in rest. Baby V just wasn't going to nap. We were happy and laughing and everything was great. As the afternoon went on, she just couldn't get comfy. We would play in the floor, we would crawl a little bit, we would sit in miss Emily's lap. It just wasn't what she wanted. So of course the whimpers and crying started. Knowing she was tired, I picked her up and walked around with her for a little bit every so often whispering her name. She was fighting sleep so hard. She would nod off and be back awake in a matter of moments afraid she had missed part of mickey mouse clubhouse. Little by little, the eyelids closed and before I knew it, she was out. and not just like light sleeping, but snoring out. and from there, nothing could wake her. not her sister scream-singing the ending song of the show, not her momma coming in the door. nothing.

On my drive home, I got to thinking about how funny it was when her mom walked in the door and saw her passed out in my arms on the couch. I thought about how that looks like Gods relationship with us on the daily. or at least for me anyways.

First everything is good. I'm feeling good about life. As the days roll on, I start to slow down. I get weary. So I try and do everything but resting to satisfy this desire in my heart. When I start to cry and wonder if I will ever be satisfied, God picks me up and walks with me for a while, every so often whispering my name. but boy do I fight it. I fight the rest because I know that it means giving full control over to the one holding me. I am afraid that I will miss out on something. but little by little, I give it up and fall into rest. That deep soul-rest that only God can provide. The same kind of rest I imagine Baby V experienced when I finally passed her off to her momma. and there is nothing that can wake us from this rest. Nothing that can take us from His eternal arms.

We need rest. It's that simple. We can't run forever. Like a bird can't fly forever, we must land at some point. and the question to answer is what are we landing on? Are we dropping to the floor or are we letting God hold ys as he whispers sweet nothings? When I let myself go too long without rest, it's the first. but if I routinely let God walk with me, I fall gently into his grace. My hope is that together we learn to do the former more often. That we remind each other as the body of christ that it's okay to rest. it's okay to have bad days. It's okay to cry when you're upset. because no matter what we do or say, God will always come and pick us up off the floor, walk with us, and whisper our names until we are at peace.

So go on and rest. it's okay to. you won't miss anything. in fact, the world will be more colorful when you wake. God is holding you, so just let go.


By the means of grace and the hope of glory,
Em



[a note to the mommas I babysit for]
I am so thankful for you. I am thankful that you are raising brilliant, beautiful, kind children. I am thankful that you trust me to look after your kids. Im thankful that you give me grace upon grace when I am mess. You encourage me daily. You are doing a great job. never forget that.

[an open letter to all mommas]
You make this world a better place. Even if you don't do anything perfect, you are the perfect mom. The only qualifier for that title is that you love without bounds. and you do just that. You protect and you care for. You may not even have kids of your own, but let me tell you something momma. you are seen. I see you in all of your messy perfection spilling love all over people. and you have to know how deeply loved you are.

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